EXCERPT – SNEAK PEEK
BETWEEN THE PAGES OF
SEASON OF DESTRUCTION
BOOK TWO OF THE GUARDIANS SERIES
DASAN
WON’T BACK DOWN
I needed to regroup, needed time to think. Everything was so totally screwed, such a mess. I needed to be grounded, have my wits about me when I faced off with Brett. So when I left Angelina’s house, I ran. I ran, and I didn’t stop. It was an hour later, when my feet hurt and sweat poured down my face, that I realized where I was going—the cemetery.
Sure, it might be crazy, running all those miles to Baraboo, but I didn’t care. I needed time to think. Angelina’s lack of faith in me all but destroyed me. How could she think I would ever hurt her, or anyone else that I cared about for that matter? Why couldn’t she see that it wasn’t me doing these crazy things? It really wasn’t me, I felt it in my gut. I knew who the puppet master of that show was—it was Brett. But Angelina was so convinced it was me, that I was sick. Soon my head was battling it out, second-guessing everything. Maybe my Angel was right. Maybe I was going crazy.
I kept running through strange neighborhoods, along railroad tracks, not sure of where I was, but knowing where I was going. I felt a huge blister burst as my bare feet slammed against the pavement. The pain intensified with each step, but the pain drove me harder. Pain was all I had. Pain, and anger. I would have to stand and fight, and I would have to do it on my own. This wasn’t a pack issue, after all. This was about protecting my bond with Angelina. I loved her. I loved her more than I loved myself, and there was nothing I wouldn’t do to prove it—nothing.
I must have looked as insane as Angelina thought I was, racing along the road and dashing across fields like that. If I looked like a madman, I certainly felt like one. But that’s what I was being driven to. I’d heard stories about Alphas who had imprinted, only to lose the heart of the woman they loved. It made them go nuts, drove them totally crazy. They’d devoted the rest of their lives to trying to prove their loyalty, some to the point of getting themselves killed in the process. She’d said she loved me, and I did believe her. But I also knew she didn’t trust me not to harm anyone, and that thought was almost as unbearable as the thought of losing her love. After all, you can’t have love without trust. Can you?
My lungs felt like I’d swallowed a match by the time I reached the cemetery gates. I stopped, leaning against one of the stone pillars at the entrance to hold myself up. I tried to catch my breath, sucking in as deep as I could against the thunderous hammering of my heart. I mopped the wet hair from my sweat-soaked face and fought the urge to scream from the pain that radiated through my whole body. Maybe I really was going crazy. I’d spent hours running those twenty-five miles, and didn’t care. Being a were, it didn’t take half as long as it would a human. Once I did what I came to do, I’d run all the way back to Waunakee and find that bastard, Brett. And when I did, he was a dead man.
I walked up one of the paths in the cemetery. My feet were leaving behind bloody footprints. I stopped and examined the bottoms of my feet, which were torn to pieces from running all that way barefoot. I laughed at myself and kept walking. There was a water spout that stuck up out of the ground for people who’d brought flowers to the graveyard. I turned it on and took a long drink, then rinsed my feet. The cold water made my injured feet burn, and I gritted my teeth, hissing against the sting. I splashed water on my face, then turned the water off and made my way to the middle of the cemetery.
I used to come here all the time when I was a kid, after my parents died. As I’d gotten older, I didn’t visit as much. It had been over a year since I’d visited last, but still I could have found my way blindfolded. Finally I saw the two small, simple headstones. They always seemed to stand out from the ones around them. I’d always imagined it was my parents there waiting for me, unseen, that made them stand apart like they did. As I sat down in the grass, facing the headstones, I really needed to believe it.
It was never a secret in our family that Dad had imprinted on Mom when they were teenagers. It was always something that was to be revered, something incredibly rare and special. And it was. Never in my life have I ever seen two people as in love as my parents. It wasn’t until I’d imprinted on Angelina that I fully understood the depth of what it meant. It was something far deeper than just being in love. It was like two souls in communion with each other for all time. If my parents had ever gone through anything like I was going through, they’d never told us about it. But somehow, I felt like they were the only ones who would understand. After all, attempting to protect Mom and us kids against the Hotcak on his own brought about my father’s death. And ultimately, Mom’s, too.
So I sat there, silently pleading with my parents to help me understand what to do. Maybe there was some way to tell me, give me a sign that I wasn’t going crazy, and that what I planned to do was the right thing. I don’t know how long I sat there, staring at the headstones, listening to the birds and the wind rustle the leaves on the trees. I felt someone behind me long before the shadow fell across my mother’s grave. I knew who it was, so I didn’t turn around.
“What are you doing out here, Jake?” I asked.
“I was planning to ask you the same question.”
Jake walked around in front of me and sat down on the concrete bench next to my mother’s headstone. His face looked a little surprised as he stared at me.
“Jeez, Das, you look like crap,” he said.
“Thanks.”
“What the hell is up with you, man? How’d you get out here?”
“I just took a jog,” I said, stretching my legs out in front of me.
Jake looked at the bottoms of my feet and freaked.
“Das, this is getting serious, dude!” he exclaimed. “Jeez, look at your feet! What are you doing to yourself?”
I stood up and turned away from him.
“This isn’t your concern, Jake. Go home.”
“The hell it isn’t!”
I could hear Jake coming around to face me.
“You’re my best friend, Dasan, and I’m not going to stand by and watch you destroy yourself like this!”
I whirled on Jake, standing toe to toe with him.
“And how do you think you’re going to stop me?” I growled.
“Oh, I’ll stop you,” Jake stood his ground. “Make no mistake, I’ll stop you! If it takes me, Kyle, Pay, Chayton and half the pack’s family, I’ll stop you from doing anything stupid to yourself.”
I sneered at Jake.
“I’m not doing anything to myself,” I said. “I’m just reclaiming Angel’s trust, by whatever means necessary.”
“You don’t have to kill yourself to do it.”
“There’s only one thing I care about.”
“Yeah, and how are you going to see it through to the end if you beat the hell out of yourself like you’re doing?” Jake demanded. “For crap’s sake, look at yourself!”
Jake’s words struck a chord. I knew what I must look like. My feet were shredded, my clothes were filthy, my hair was wild and I stunk. I’m sure my face showed the stress and lack of sleep I was feeling. But I just couldn’t slow down, I couldn’t quit until I knew my Angel believed in me. Only then could I rest. I turned away from Jake and started back up the path.
“Just go home, Jake,” I said.
Jake followed me.
“You think Brett’s messing with you, I heard you inside my head,” he said. “I believe you, I’ve got no reason to doubt you. You think he’s trying to come between you and Angelina? Then let me help you.”
I stopped and turned to look at Jake.
“You have no idea what I’m planning to do.”
Jake grinned at me, cracking his knuckles.
“Wanna bet?”